On Thursday, I was sitting in my lecture hall around 15 minutes early. I’m just going to put this out there, I particularly hate this hall because it’s shit. The seats are super low so if you have long legs, you’re basically doomed to suffer pins and needles for an hour. Everyone has like 13 inches of space to work within. There’s minimal space between the rows so if you’ve got long hair, it’s going to be in my work space. If you have bad breath, I am going to smell it and wish to die. If you’re talking about something obnoxious, I will hear it and mentally judge you. There are 2 huge pillars strategically placed right where the lecture’s podium thing is so if you’re one of those students who actually likes to see who is teaching you, you either have to sit on the edge of a row or break your neck trying. It’s just SHIT. PRMB3009, the room number of my educational torment.
Anyway, I was minding my own business, reading American Psycho (which is going amazingly well) and the place started to fill up. These boys sat behind me and were talking, I wasn’t tuned in but then, I felt a tap, an actual tap, properly exerted on my shoulder. Now, unless, the density of air suddenly changed to that of a human finger, I’m not crazy and it was definitely a tap. So I figured, one of them was trying to grab my attention, which was fine by me. I turned around and Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest are staring at me, guilt plastered on their acne-ridden faces. Besides the guilt, I swear you could peel the fear off their faces, it was that tangible. Now, I’m not a scary person, I don’t aim to seem unapproachable so the fact that they looked absolutely petrified startled me.
After a few seconds, waiting for the tapper to say whatever it was they had intended to say, I said “Hello. Did one of you just poke me?” I was all smiles, utterly non-confrontational. I should have said tap, maybe they couldn’t comprehend the word poke.
“Uh, no, I didn’t poke you.” – Chief Dumbo
“No.” – Middle Dumbo, who was looking at me with total apprehension.
One of them just stared at me with a mixture of dread and discomfort. I wish I could sketch, words just aren’t doing justice to how these boys were looking at me.
I turn back around and oga (pronounced like Olga without the l. In Yoruba, it means boss) Dumbo says “Maybe you’re just paranoid. Paranoid poke.”
It took every iota of the Lord’s divine strength within me to not turn around and verbally dismantle him and his dipshit friends and their puberty-wrecked faces and their shitty haircuts and their obscene fashion sense. I took a deeeeeeep breath and shook my head, put away American Psycho before it gave me any ideas and tried my best to focus on the lecture which was about imaginary numbers. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, imaginary numbers get chucked at you. It was actually really cool: so you know how the square root of -1 doesn’t exist? Well, with imaginary numbers (i), we can assume the square root of -1 is i and the square of i is -1. Apparently, it’s an absolute lifesaver.
This whole week, some of these university students have just been proving how utterly stupid they are (first lesson of the freaking semester, I arrive at the designated room and there’s a swarm of my classmates standing outside the room and a handful of others inside. I ask one of them, why is everyone outside? She told me there was a sign on the door that said Do Not Disturb. When I tell you this sign had been there since we started university, would it be enough to justify why I think some of them are just airheads?) and that really was the icing on the cake. I probably sound so conceited right now. I’m not better than any of them, we’re all paying £9000 a year for the next 3 years to get the same degree. But do you get why I am so frustrated? Doesn’t university require a certain degree of capability? We are not in pre-school, no one is going to come to you and tell you that the sign on the door that has been there for months doesn’t apply to you, or that you shouldn’t talk so freaking loud in a lecture or that you shouldn’t tap people then deny it whilst looking as if you’ve just been confronted by Medusa, for crying out loud. University requires a minimum level of brain activity which, I seriously think, a lot of these people simply fall beneath.
Going back to last week’s poll question for a second, the question was “Is it weird if I go up to random people (boys, in particular) and just start up a conversation?” and well, 75% of you thought it depended on the scenario but mostly, yes it was weird while the rest of you thought it wasn’t weird at all. Well, now, it’s not even a matter of going up to anyone, it is simply WHO IS THERE TO APPROACH?
I can’t begin to express how it pains me to have to realise that most of the individuals on my campus are simply not doing it for me in any way, shape or form. They just are not. I’m all about synergy, about connecting spiritually first of all and if your spirit doesn’t gel with mine, that’s it. Looking into the faces of those 3 boys just obliviated any budding hope that I had for this year in terms of putting my foot on the ladder of finally meeting a guy who was on my level mentally. I told you, I’m not looking for a boyfriend: I’m looking for a boy friend. That was all I asked for and you know what? Now, I honestly could not care less.
A word to the wise, let any of you nitwits try and tap me and tell me it wasn’t you. I just got my nails done and yes, they are claw-like and I’m reading American Psycho, I’ve said it like a million times. Try me, I absolutely double dare you.
Regarding my song of the week, you guys really shocked me. Majority of you actually “care” even though you don’t listen to the songs but it’s aite. One day, someone will find this blog and their socks will be blown off by the sheer awesomeness that is my musical taste.
Amerie – 1 Thing (THIS WAS A TUNEEEE) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbqVg_23otg
Quote of the Week (brought to you by my Inspiration Pot)
Until next week,