I know, I know, 3 weeks in and I’m already talking about boys. Sue me, it has to be done. I’m not here to preach about the bad side of dating, I’m not here to tell anyone to abstain, become a nun, close your eyes whenever an attractive being walks past, no. I’m just here to speak my mind and this week, I’ve got boys on my mind.
People always say university is the place to make lifelong relationships in the friendly aspect and otherwise. I’m not even slightly ashamed to say I depended on university to help me meet people, men in particular. Yes, I said men. There is a difference between a man and a boy but it seems to me, university is just another breeding ground for boys. I still haven’t met any Nigerians, by the way. It’s making me spiral closer and closer to insanity as it’s making me lose bucket loads of hope.
I’m surrounded by blossoming relationships and there’s a pattern emerging: there seems to be quite large age gaps between the lovebirds. One of the newest friends I’ve made at university is engaged and she’s 19, her fiancé is 24. I think for my particular age group, boys just aren’t ready for the level of commitment a LOT of girls my age (or should I say women) are yearning for. As always, males and females at the age of 18 aren’t on the same psychological level yet and so us ladies are left, flailing our arms around, beckoning for our male counterparts to hurry the f*ck up and get to where we are. I think I’m targeting the wrong age group but I don’t want to date someone 5 years older than me: I just know they will be patronising and almost parent-like and that’s the biggest no-no in my rather short list of requirements in whom I date.
Am I too young to be wanting such serious relationships? I’m not even interested in getting engaged right now, I just want a serious boyfriend/manfriend, damn it. Is there something wrong with me for expecting the total embodiment of my dreams to magically cross paths with me on my university campus? I guess it’s okay to dream… but there’s only so much dreaming can fulfil. In all honesty, I miss being in a relationship and the fact that I’m enveloped by so many happy and healthy ones makes me jealous. There, I said it.
I’m the kind of person who devotes themselves to anything that I’m passionate about: be it a relationship, be it a project, be it Beyoncé. I guess I just love being in love or better yet, I love the idea of love. I’ve always been that person to crush really hard on people ever since I knew what a crush was. I’m a sucker for romance, I’m a sucker for love but as always, the harder you love, the more agonising the heartbreak.
I also think a lot of factors are at hand, hindering the average 18-year-old boy’s ability to want to “settle down”. I’m just going to mention 3. We don’t have all day:
- The media: I mean, “bad b*tches” seem to be in ample supply nowadays and some boys are dumb enough to actually want those kind of girls. But see, they’d rather chase a couple of girls like that for now than have one girl who’s probably not that outlandish but guaranteed to make them happy in the long-run. It’s so unfortunate.
- Immaturity: this doesn’t apply to just boys, oh no. There are girls out there who just serve as the exceptions to the rule and somehow, every bloody time, they seem to get their clutches on the good guys before us. They end up tainting the guys so much, they are either so bitter, they will do absolutely anything to hurt other good girls or so disinterested in girls, they won’t give anyone a second glance. Sigh.
- My idea of a serious relationship differs drastically from theirs. Enough said.
I feel like this post is full of contradictions and ramblings that make close to no sense whatsoever. I could blame this on the fact that I’m heavily intoxicated by Benylin cough medicine and concentrated doses of Obas oil but actually, I’ve just been in a “someone, love me” mood all week and this post was the only way to get it out of my system. Forgive me, readers.
Mini Rant of the Week – I don’t want to be one of those people who think every single action towards them involves some form of racial discrimination but I feel like I should document this as I might be on to something… Just in case.
So, one of my lecturers was introducing himself to the class and this line of talk began:
“University is about having your big boy trousers on.” *Looks at me* “Do you have your trousers on?”
“Stand up and show me then.”
“Do you have a skirt on?”
FYI, I was actually wearing trousers that day. Now, kissing one’s teeth showcases annoyance, impatience or even a display of attitude amongst Africans and Afro-Caribbeans mainly. He was very white. So, what I didn’t get is why he decided to do that to me in particular. He didn’t do it to anyone else. He did however, call an Asian boy “bruv” but I guess that was because the boy in mention kept saying “innit”. He’s also the boy who irritates my soul in all my classes (I’ll most likely rant about him next week). The more I think about it, the more it irritates me and I keep finding underlying meanings to what he could have meant. Either way, I didn’t find it funny at all or even necessary and I’m not looking forward to his lectures.
Song of the Week – Jhené Aiko – Spotless Mind (https://soundcloud.com/albsoon/jhene-aiko-spotless-mind)
Quote of the Week – Since I’m in a sentimental mood, why not quote from my favourite book in the whole wide world: “Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting.” – Audrey Niffenegger (excerpt from The Time Traveler’s Wife)
P.S. Random fact about me: I’d rather lose my page in a book than doggy-ear the page or use a bookmark. Odd, no?