Monthly Archives: January 2016

Please, Stop Talking

I know I said I wouldn’t talk about boys but listen: I have no choice, I have to or else, there’s simply no way for me to articulate what I have to say, I apologise.

Let me first state the obvious: we are all entitled to an opinion. Whether we are asked to vocalise it is one thing but we all think things, there’s nothing anyone can do about that. What pisses me off is being on the receiving end of these completely unwarranted opinions and then having to receive the backlash of not agreeing with said person’s opinion.

Now, back to our regular scheduled programme.

There is an individual in my class who has taken an acute interest in my outward appearance and it’s grinding my gears. Really, really, grinding. I’m really over this notion that a woman can only wear makeup or decide to put an effort into her outfit or whatever and it automatically has to be for “the man”. If I say it is, then it is. If I don’t, who the hell do you think you are assuming it’s all for you?

It first started with a few hit and miss comments here and there like “Oh, who have you dressed up for then?” and “You look really pretty today, what’s happening?” Not only were these little sayings utterly unwarranted, they were backhanded as hell. So every other day, I look like trash or? Pardon? Then came the one that really just sent me over the cliff. Wait for it:

“If you wore makeup everyday, you would be perfect.”

Now, let’s take a moment to consolidate what this statement actually means, let’s break it all the way down. Let’s delve into the mind of this utterly filterless, brainless, sack of idiocy and try and decipher what this one-liner meant:

Your God-given, natural, bare face is inadequate for me to even consider finding you attractive (or looking at you or dating you, I have no bloody clue) and I have decided that it is makeup and makeup alone that can solve this conundrum. You have to look appealing to me at all times, so do it. Now.

Ladies and gentlemen, are you shaking your heads with me right now? Believe me when I say I didn’t take this comment lying down, oh no. It would have been a disservice to womanhood if I let such a thing come out of his mouth and leave it unchecked. But what gets to me above all of this is simply the fact that he didn’t get where he was wrong. He didn’t get that he couldn’t say stuff like that to me or to anyone and think it was okay.

This issue of male entitlement, I don’t think it can ever be solved. I think it’s a neurological thing, a difference in brain chemistry because it’s too damn common to just be down to conceitedness. I don’t understand how every little showcase of self-love has to be attributed to me wanting to please a member of the opposite sex. That’s not all I am, that’s not the entirety of what women are here to do. There are a gazillion and one intricacies that make me up but for some reason, a boy just wants to see it all as me wanting to impress him?

Here’s the big question: why do you feel this is so? Do you pay my rent or do you buy my groceries? Do you stay up all night and memorise chemistry mechanisms for me? Do you even care about my wellbeing, physically or even mentally? Are we emotionally invested in each other? Do you have anything to do with me besides sitting in the same classroom as me? Yet you just want to think every little iota of my appearance is based on warding off or attracting attention from the likes of you. You want to reduce me into nothing more but a billboard on legs, because that’s all it is, right? Give me a break.

I keep saying this and I will always say it: ladies, do you. I can’t stress this enough. Nobody can govern you, no one can police you. I know the privilege of self-expression isn’t as easy for some as it is for others but one day, I hope and pray, that a world will exist where women can do whatever the hell they want without having to explain or justify themselves. Until then, crush comments like the ones I’ve mentioned above and just generally tell people to shut up.

Love, your highly irritated friend,

Georgina ❤

Songs of The Week

Just One Resolution

I haven’t felt inclined to write for a long time. I could lie and say I’ve had too much to do but besides studying, I really don’t do much and even the amount of studying I do is debatable. I have tried though. I can’t count the number of times I’ve sat on my bed, my legs crossed, my lights low and my eyes glued on a blank document, the cursor blinking at me, patiently waiting for me to do something but I couldn’t. No one asked why I hadn’t posted anything and I was surprisingly grateful for that too. It’s pressure and pressure leads to me writing absolute crap. I know, you don’t have to say it.

But here we are, in 2016 and I’m doing this. Happy New Year, everyone.

I don’t have any resolutions. Well, I had one but I think I’ve seen the light and realised how truly idiotic it was. I’m turning 20 in approximately 5 months. The actualisation of this only just sunk in about 3 weeks ago. And as expected, I freaked the fuck out. In my mind, I have, or better yet, had a timeline of how I wanted my life to pan out. I’m a semi-existentialist; I like to think I have some control over my destiny. On my timeline, around this time, I wanted to be able to drive, be living away from home, fully settled into university, be encapsulated by a self-confidence that could shatter concrete and of course, be in love. And when I consolidated what I had anticipated for myself and what I actually am, the big jigsaw puzzle that was missing really sent me into panic mode. I started thinking I was broken, like there was something wrong with me and I vowed to myself that by the 6th of May, I would be in something that resembled a relationship, by fire, by force. The people who I told this to all said the same thing: “what’s the big deal?” and it exasperated me that they couldn’t see what I was seeing. But the fact that they didn’t see what was so monumental about being 20 and single made me re-evaluate everything too and I came up with this new resolution: I won’t babble about singledom anymore. I won’t talk about boys anymore, I won’t cry about how “lonely” I feel or how “jealous” I am at the blossoming relationships around me. I’ll wait but I won’t sit and wait and I don’t want this blog to sit either.

So, with that being said, prepare to be introduced to a different side of me, I suppose. I want to try all kinds of things on here, I want to write stories, I want to collaborate, if I can teach Mandarin on here, I swear I will. I want to try new things, I want to continuously remind myself that a world exists outside the realm of boys and relationships that I’ve so tightly wound myself up in. This will be my little experiment. I will be consistent and I will post once a week, I promise. I just want to be open here, I want to grow and let you all see. I’m excited about this, I really am.

Oh and this is the year where I will edit wisely and justify my text before publishing because having it all aligned to the left is a mess.

Alrighty, see you next week!

Georgina ❤

Songs of the Week (it’s been a while)